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Witty retirement wishes
January 09, 2019 Kids Thanks 1 comment

Retirement on the horizon?

Don’t forget to wish them a fabulous time on their new adventures. Whether it’s a friend or family member, one of these retirement wishes is certainly going to cheer them up. Add some flowers or a small gift to make the surprise even bigger.

50+ Retirement Wishes

  1. You now don’t have to wake up to the sound of your alarm clock beckoning you to work. You can enjoy the unlimited time of golfing, driving around town and cooking, unless you want to take my place? Happy Retirement!
  2. We’re really going to miss you! Hope you’ll enjoy every minute of your retirement. Best wishes!
  3. Retirement is equaled to freedom. I hope you enjoy doing the things that you don’t have time for before. Congratulations! Happy Retirement!
  4. You deserve all the best things in this world in your retirement years to come.  Have a happy and rocking retirement days!
  5. I hope you have a wonderful retirement! You will be missed, but never forgotten. You’ve done so much for all of us.
  6. A life without the daily traffic jams and mounts of paperwork. Welcome to that rosy life, my friend. Happy retirement!
  7. Best wishes for a very happy retirement. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me directly and indirectly; it’s much appreciated and I shall miss working with you. And, of course, if you decide retirement means you’ve time to follow some artistic dreams, go for them…
  8. You are an embodiment of optimism and hard work. Thank you for inspiring us every day at work. We will miss you! Congratulations on your retirement!
  9. I wish that your retirement will be everything you dreamed that it would be.
  10. This is another beginning of your life. Hearty Congratulations on your retirement.
  11. Best wishes for you on retirement, Enjoy your time with your family and friends. May every moment of your life be fulfilling and full of joy.
  12. Retiring does not mean that you will stop hanging out with us! Drop by for coffee once in a while. Happy Retirement!
  13. Wishing you the best on your life after this retirement. We’ll miss you.
  14. Working with you has been an immense pleasure the past couple of years. Your graciousness about the people with whom you work, your delight in an acknowledgment of their successes, and your ability to make them the heroes, has always impressed me.
  15. Your guidance and encouragement have helped me and so many other coworkers thrive in a very competitive environment, and we’ve been so fortunate to have your expertise to rely on. You’ll be missed, but I know your retirement is the right thing at this time. May the next phase of your life bring you all that you seek and more.
  16. Congrats! May all your future dreams come true and may your life be filled with joy and happiness. Happy retirement!
  17. Retirement doesn’t mean the end of your active life. You can do the things that you’ve always wanted to Enjoy it!
  18. Wishing you and your family all the best as you enter into a new phase of your life. May you enjoy the extra time that you’ll be spending with them.
  19. May you enjoy a successful life after retirement to the fullest.
  20. Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.
  21. Your presence, your guidance, and your supervision inspire us to do better. A colleague like you is simply irreplaceable. Happy Retirement for you!
  22. Best wishes on your retirement, may it be even better than you ever imagined.
  23. You helped me so much and your thoughts were always well thought out and to the point. I truly appreciate everything you did for me over the years. You will be missed. I hope that you have something wonderful planned!
  24. I have to say, the highlight of our days are the times when we really annoy you. We will miss you! Happy Retirement!
  25. May you have a relaxing new chapter ahead – one where you will have unlimited time to enjoy your life. Happy Retirement!
  26. I will never forget all the things you have taught me whether at work or in life. You are one of the reasons I have fun working. Congratulations! Happy retirement!
  27. May you have a fun and bright new chapter ahead of you – one where you will have unlimited time for relaxation. Happy Retirement!
  28. Just wanted to say that I found so many of your ideas inspiring. It’s hard to imagine our workplace without you! I hope retirement brings you the chance to do whatever it is that you always wanted to do but didn’t get to. All the best!
  29. The workplace will never be the same without you – the jokes, the laughter, the chats over coffee break and our Friday night out! We shared so many fun memories! You will surely be missed! Happy retirement!
  30. Wishing you a long, happy, and healthy retirement.
  31. Cheers to your well-earned retirement! The contributions that you have imparted the company are invaluable. You are one of the foundations for this company’s success! Congratulations!
  32. You have made such a difference with your constant optimism, enthusiasm and willingness to answer questions, no matter how stupid. Somehow, you were able to make what seemed complicated into something we could all be excited about and get behind. I know we’ll all really miss you. Thank you for everything you’ve done and enjoyed yourself!
  33. For the dedication and hard work, you deserve the best retirement ever. Enjoy this new journey of your life.
  34. Wishing you the most exciting and stress-free retirement ever.
  35. You can finally savor the savings that you have worked so hard for. Travel the world! Buy that car that you have been eyeing for forever! You deserve this retirement! Congratulations!
  36. To a reliable and cool colleague, you have inspired us that through work hard and dedication, we can one day achieve our well-merited retirement. Congratulations on yours! Cheers!
  37. A wife’s real full-time job starts when her husband retires.
  38. While your lovely presence will be missed in the office, the great work you did here ensures that you will not be forgotten anytime soon. What you achieved at this company made quite an impact, and that’s not so easy to do these days. Thank you for being a tireless professional, a helpful coworker, and a good friend. Now go and relax!
  39. Retiring does not mean that we will lose touch. I will keep you posted on the latest gossip so make a daily check on your email or better yet, let’s have dinner once in a while. I will miss you! Congratulations on your richly deserved retirement!
  40. Enjoy your unlimited weekends! You can stay on your pajamas all-day-long, stay in bed as much as you want and stay at home without getting any calls from work. Congratulations on your retirement!
  41. You have been so wonderful to work with—so many brilliant and creative ideas and suggestions that I’ve lost track – and you will be sorely missed. It has been an honor and a privilege to work with you. You’re also a wonderful friend and I appreciate your friendship and caring more than I can say. Our friendship, which is near and dear to my heart, will continue, I know.
  42. To one of the best people that the company/office has ever had. Congratulations on your retirement!
  43. Retirement marks the beginning of your career as a sage who never follows his own wise words. Happy Retirement!
  44. Best wishes and good luck for a fulfilling retirement.
  45. Time to ditch the suit and tie. You can now have the liberty to dress whatever you want and no one will care. Just don’t forget to put on your underwear! Happy retirement!
  46. From now on you do not have to put off the things that you have been craving to do. Welcome to the time of your freedom. Happy Retirement!
  47. Wishing you a new set of success in this fresh chapter of your journey, a blossom of opportunities ahead and more adrenaline-pumping adventures to come your way. Happy Retirement!
  48. Your retirement actually means that you got promoted to one of the best roles in your life. Congratulations.
  49. You have set a great example to everyone at work. You are our role model by the ways of your team work, diligence, efficiency, and friendliness. Thank you for being someone we can look up to. Congratulations on your hard-earned retirement!
  50. Congratulations on your retirement. We wish you tons of happiness in the years ahead.
  51. You can now fix everything in your house that needs repairing until you run out of things to do. Happy Retirement!
  52. No more targets, no more goals, no more KPIs and no more meetings. All there’s left to do now is to unfurl all the happiness that life has in store. Congratulations on your retirement.
  53. They say that life starts at 40. But the truth is, it starts on your retirement. When you have the luxury to do all the things you wanted to do. Congratulations on your exciting chapter ahead!
  54. Dear boss, I am pretty sure you will miss having someone do everything for you. Cheers! Congratulations on your hard-earned retirement!

sources:wishesgreetings.com, thebalance.com, dgreetings.com, retirementmessages.com

Lily Calyx

Lily Calyx is our in-house flower whisperer, an expert on all things botanical and an enthusiastic orchids collector. She loves discussing the insights of the secret world of flowers, shares her gardening tips and hacks and moons over the latest additions to Serenata Flowers flower range. Ask Lily anything about flowers and we can guarantee she will have the answer.

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Funny Retirement Wishes: Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech? This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about everyone including teachers, professors, doctors, engineers, IT guys, nurses, accountants, business executives or even the friendly oldie working at the neighborhood supermarket. Read them and think of how you can infuse humor in your greetings. Whether it is for your colleagues, bosses, dad, mom, friends or someone in the family – make sure your witty lines put a smile on the new retiree’s face. Don’t forget to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.


1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.


2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.


3) The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.


4) Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.


5) After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.

6) Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.



7) Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.


8) Thankfully, retirement is mandatory and not an option. Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you. xoxo


9) Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.


10) Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.

11) Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.


12) All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.


13) Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.


14) Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.


15) No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.

16) Retirement is just a nice way for your company to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.


17) Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.


18) Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge toward old age. Good luck.


19) Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension, but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.


20) Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you. Happy retirement.

21) For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially. Congratulations.


22) Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.


23) Until now, when you slacked at work your boss shouted at you. Now when you slack at household chores, your wife will shout at you. Happy retirement.


24) Was working hard all your life worth it? You are about to realize that now. Congratulations on retiring.


25) All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grandkids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.

26) It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.


27) Consider yourself officially and truly retired on the day you don’t feel like changing your underwear. Good luck.


28) Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.


29) Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE. Congratulations.


30) Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.

31) Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun.


32) Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.


33) Retirement is a fence – on one side lies hard work and on the other lies boredom. Either ways, it’s no fun.


34) Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career. Good luck buddy.


35) Retirement is the company way of indirectly telling you that it has no more use of an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye.

36) Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.


37) Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday. Have fun.


38) Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.


39) You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.


40) Congratulations on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle out.

40+ funny and inspiring retirement quotes to write in a card for a colleague, boss, or family member who is finishing up at work. Wish a family.

The best part about is that they will be relatable to pretty much everybody including educators, teachers, specialists, engineers, IT folks, attendants, bookkeepers, business administrators or even the agreeable oldie working at the area grocery store. Read them below and consider how you can inject cleverness in your welcome.

Regardless of whether it is for your associates, managers, father, mother, companions or somebody in the family – ensure your witty lines put a grin on the new retiree’s face. Keep in mind to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.

The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include:

  1. The days of 9-5 are past! happy days are here at last!
  2. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments!
  3. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again!
  4. The job you waited for for 50 years! Retirement!
  5. Retirement! it’s like sleeping while you are awake. Well done!
  6. You can now not worry about doing anything wrong nor getting caught at it!
  7. What do you call a person who is always happy each and every Monday? Retired!
  8. Worked all me life, paid me due’s, now I will do, whatever I choose!
  9. Time to stop working for that living and working at living!
  10. You have finally “Got a Life!”
  11. Retirement! Where every day is Saturday!
  12. I don’t have to do it, I don’t want to do it and you can’t make me do it I’m retired!
  13. You’re retired, not expired!
  14. Enjoy the challenge of spending time without spending money!
  15. Retired! Say Hi to your pension and goodbye to the tension!
  16. You’re retied! We know your young at heart and slightly older in other places!
  17. Retired! No Alarm Clock! No problem!
  18. Are you going to be a secret agent? Licenced to chill?
  19. Now you’re retired, you know everything and have plenty of time to tell everyone about it!
  20. The joy of retirement is having nothing to do all day!
  21. Remember, with retirement, you can wake up in the morning with zero to do and go to bed having done a mere half of it!
  22. Retirement: It takes all the meaning out of weekends!
  23. Now you are retired, you realize you will never have another day off, right?
  24. Now you are retired, you can get up at 6 am and drive around slowly delaying people everywhere!
  25. Time to maximize that senior discount!
  26. No better feeling than going to bed with no alarm set for tomorrow!
  27. Retirement! The money is not as good but the hours are!
  28. Behind every retired man is a wife just wishing he would go back to work!
  29. Retirement: Half the money but now you get twice the husband!
  30. I’m retired! You’re not! Have fun at work tomorrow!
  31. You found your true calling, Retirement!
  32. On the retirement clock it’s always five O’clock
  33. Keep calm and enjoy retirement!
  34. When people ask you what you are doing tomorrow, do you even care what day of the week it is? Happy Retirement!
  35. Retired! I now smile all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying!
  36. Now you are retired, how are the new bosses, your grand kids?
  37. You are going to be the coworker I miss the most when emailing you from a few feet away!
  38. Retirement! Time to start giving advice to others you never followed!
  39. Fragile bones and a weak bladder. You still looking forward to your retirement? Congratulations!
  40. I bet you never thought how important medical insurance was until you retired!
  41. You say retirement is an adventure? IS climbing out of bed, climbing atop couches and diving into take out food fun?
  42. After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart!
  43. Hey, now you are retired you can’t afford to do all the things you wanted too, anyway! Happy Retirement!
  44. I am thankful retirement is not optional otherwise I would be stuck working with you, forever! Happy Retirement!
  45. Off to retirement? Say Hi to your two new best friends, bed and couch!
  46. Retirement, it is like a party with no drinking, no hook-up’s and you fall asleep. In other words, boring! Congratulations!
  47. Your retirement will be like a vacation, except you are now too old to do the fun stuff! Congrats!
  48. Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.
  49. Remember to tire yourself out with gardening grand kids and chores!
  50. Hey with all your college degrees, you now get to be a Master of doing nothing! Well done!
  51. C’mon! We all know retirement is the companies way of saying you are getting too old to work!
  52. Doing the things you wanted to do is not what retirement is for. It is remembering what you had to do. Good luck, pensioner!
  53. Retirement is like being on the edge of a cliff. Just know your next step is a downward plunge! Good luck!
  54. The company retiring you says they have found more energetic, youthful and talented staff than you! Happy Retirement!
  55. For someone as idle as you, retirement will not matter. You will just be lazy on an official basis!
  56. Hey, now you are retired, enjoy the next project: Doing nothing all day!
  57. No more boss shouting at you, just your wife shouting at you! Enjoy retirement!
  58. It doesn’t matter if you are grumpy when you retire, people just expect it anyway.
  59. The first day you do not change your underwear, consider yourself officially retired!
  60. Now you have reached retirement, enjoy this new turning point as you realize how messed up your priorities were!
  61. It’s time to spend away your life savings! Enjoy retirement.
  62. Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.
  63. Retirement, the bubble that bursts when you thought you were at the zenith of your career. Good luck, buddy!
  64. Retirement is the company way of saying they have no more use for an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye!
  65. Retirement is life’s way of saying you are too weak and feeble to work any longer! Congratulations!
  66. You know, being retired is the only time in life you do not really mind not having a holiday!
  67. Every day of your retired life should be like a Friday. Shame you will feel like it is Monday, every day. Good luck!
  68. Congrats on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle!
  69. Retirement is great if you have much to live for and much to live on.
  70. When your colleagues give you a watch you know time is no longer of importance. Happy retirement!
  71. When you retire, it’s going to be tough to tell the difference!
  72. Is mandatory retirement the same as compulsive poverty?
  73. Retirement, when time is no longer money.
  74. The way some people work you wonder if they will achieve anything when they retire!
  75. Retirement, maybe time for your wife to get a stomach ulcer with you around all the time?
  76. Now you are retired, you can be tired, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
  77. Now you are retired you can burn all your boxes. Saves money and gets rid of your past, too!
  78. Having worked all of your life, retirement should be easy!
  79. You know before you retired, you should have taken a week off and watched daytime TV every day!
  80. Now you are retired you will actually have time to read about problems with retirement!
  81. We know you retired for health reasons. You were sick of them, they were sick of you!
  82. Now you are retired you have nothing to do and no way to tell if you have done it!
  83. Now you are retired, can you still remember the things you wanted to do?
  84. Now your wife realizes you never gave your secretary enough sympathy during the daytime either!
  85. Drinking coffee on your own time is the one downside of retirement! Enjoy!
  86. Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last day; one day you will be right about it.
  87. Now your retired, will your bedtime be after you have fallen asleep on the couch for three hours? Enjoy!
  88. The older you get the less peer pressure you will have. Well Done!
  89. Enjoy retirement and knowing you are over the hill when your back goes out more frequently than you do!
  90. On the bright side of being retired, kidnappers are less interested in you. Enjoy retirement!
  91. Happy Retirement. Go play golf and make your wife think you are still having fun!
  92. Enjoy your retirement! Don’t spend all your money just in case you don’t die!
  93. Is your happy retirement now a full time job for your wife?
  94. Enjoy and be proud of being gainfully unemployed Happy Retirement!
  95. Hey now you are retired, you don’t have to wear pants!
  96. Now I am retired I am not going to stop laughing because I am old, because you grow old when you do stop laughing!
  97. Working people have a lot of bad habits., but the worst of these is work. Congrats on your retirement!
  98. You are retiring from work ,not from life. Enjoy, my friend!
  99. Never act your age in retirement and have lots of fun!
  100. You don’t have to remember what you got up for anymore! Have fun in retirement!

We hope you enjoyed reading our Funny Retirement Quotes, stay tuned for more from SLS Communities. Read 100 Retirement Wishes Here.

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Is someone you know retiring? When people retire it’s a significant event in their life, and finding something meaningful or funny to write in their retirement card can be challenging. We’ve rifled through the inter-web, rummaged through our cards and come up with some popular and unique ideas for you. From funny quotes to sincere messages, simply pick your favourite.

Light Hearted Wishes

  1. Congratulations! The money is no better in retirement, but the hours sure are.
  2. I hope you’re looking forward to the feeling of never having to go to bed at night and set an alarm again.
  3. Enjoy working at living, instead of living at work.
  4. In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
  5. Now you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.
  6. Goodbye tension, hello pension!
  7. Welcome to happy Mondays!
  8. Happy retirement. Time to stop lying about your age and start lying around the house!
  9. Well done on climbing the mountain, now you can finally enjoy the view!
  10. Congrats on retiring! Now it doesn’t matter if the government decides to increase the retirement age.

Funny Messages

  1. Remember retirement is an adventure! Especially if you count trekking out of bed, climbing on sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
  2. Retirement will make you realise that you wasted all those years trying to be mature when you can go back to being a child at the end of them. Enjoy!
  3. Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
  4. Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party… except that you can’t drink, can’t dance and can’t stay up late. Enjoy!
  5. Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.
  6. Congratulations on becoming the master of doing nothing.
  7. Congratulations on getting some new tires on your car. A card seems a little over the top though, I never got one.
  8. Congratulations on extending your weekends by 5 days!
  9. Retirement is great – you can finally do nothing without being worried about getting caught.
  10. God retired after just 6 days of creating the heavens and the earth. What took you so long?
  11. Please congratulate your partner on getting twice the husband, but only half the income.
  12. Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time called “doing nothing”!
  13. I hope you enjoy living off your savings. Let me know what you do after the second week…
  14. Happy retirement… think of it as a six month holiday, twice a year.
  15. Have fun doing the things you always wanted to… as long as you’re not too old to remember them!

Risqué / Controversial Messages

  1. Retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially.
  2. Well done on being so tired, you had to retire.
  3. You’ll be back, I’ve met your partner.
  4. I hope you’re looking forward to retirement. Apart from the occasional heart attack, you’ll probably feel as young as you ever did.
  5. Well done on staying alive so long that your company had to force you to retire.
  6. Happy retirement. Enjoy old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical check-ups and a weak bladder!
  7. Good luck in retirement. I think we’ve all been able to tell for a while that the wheels are still spinning, but the hamster is slowing down.
  8. Life is too short – and now you will figure that out…
  9. Statistically you’re now more likely to die than if you’d carried on working. All the best!
  10. Happy retirement, is now a good time to point out that the next big event in your life will be your funeral…

Office Retirement Quotes

    1. Of all the people I have ever worked with. I can honestly say that you were one of them.
    2. Remember we’re all still working so try not to rub it in about the tough day you’ve had visiting the National Trust tearooms.
    3. Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.


  1. Good luck in retirement. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
  2. Good decision to retire – you best go now before they find all your mistakes.
  3. Congratulations on your retirement! Although to be honest, I could have sworn you stopped working years ago.
  4. Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man?
  5. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.

Sincere Wishes

  1. It’s been great working with you. Remember to relax and have fun, and avoid anything that resembles work for as long as possible.
  2. May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.
  3. Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Enjoy.
  4. All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures.
  5. Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.
  6. Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement.
  7. Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.

For more ideas, check out our retirement cards where you can upload photos, add names and messages for that extra special touch.

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These funny retirement wishes, messages and quotes to make your greetings funny and wish your desired one a happy retirement.

Funny Retirement Messages and Sayings

Retirement Congratulations Messages

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  • Suggestions for a Great Message

What to Write in a Retirement Card

Retirement wishes can be difficult to write. Wishing the person a great retirement and acknowledging their work years is the basis of a good retirement message. Here are some tips and examples to use to help you express what you want to say. Choose an example you like best for your deserving retiree, and then use the tips to make it better.
Much depends on your relationship to the retiree. If you are someone's boss, then your retirement wishes will be different than if you are the retiree's grand daughter. For example, a supervisor might write:
  • "Congratulations on your retirement. It has been a pleasure working with you. I am wishing you a relaxing, fun, and long retirement. Don't think too much about this place."
A son or daughter might write:
  • "Dad, I am happy for you that you finally get to retire. I hope we can spend some more time together. Feel free to take your grand kids any time you want."
Here are plenty more examples to help you express what you want to say.
  • You are a person I really admire because you are a person who gets to retire.
  • I'm wishing you a long, healthy, and happy retirement!
  • I'm glad you finally get to retire. You deserve it. You've worked hard!
  • You have been one of the best employees I have ever had. I know that you will be just as productive in your retirement pursuits. Good luck! You will be missed.
  • I am glad you are retiring. I am planning on hanging out with you more now.
  • Your work years are over. Now your fun years begin!
  • I have to admit, I am a little jealous of you. I wish I was retiring.
  • Your retirement is probably just as welcomed by the company, since you can now be replaced by someone much less experienced and less expensive. The reality is that you can never actually be replaced.
  • If you put as much effort into enjoying your retirement as you have all the years you've been working, you’ll have an amazing, productive, dynamic and long lasting retirement. You deserve it!
  • I'm glad you get to retire while you still have many good and capable years of life left in you! Congratulations!
  • Now that you've gone through birth, crawling, walking, school, and many years of work, you can finally relax!
  • As you move into this next chapter of your life, I wish you all the best.
  • Life is so much better when you don't have to follow an agenda or set an alarm clock.
  • You have spent your time doing valuable work. Now you can spend your time enjoying valuable interests.
  • Every day is a weekend now! Enjoy your long weekend!

Funny Examples

Use these funny retirement messages when you know the retiree well, and you know he or she can take a joke. Pick one you think the retiree will think is funny.
  • Have fun in your retirement! Follow these words of wisdom. 'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.'
  • I always thought of you as a permanent fixture at work. I guess we'll have to figure out how to get by without you.
  • It's exciting to know that you are leaving the workforce! I bet it's exciting for you too.
  • Now is the time to experience the part of childhood that was stolen from you by school and work!
  • You always did work hard at not having to work. Now that you're retired, you don't have to work as hard at not working.
  • Now that you are retired, you get an even tougher boss... Your wife!
  • I bet your company is really glad to see you go. After that many years your salary was probably worth two or three younger, more energetic workers.
  • I don't know why you are even retiring. You know you won't be able to keep from working, you workaholic!
  • I thought you retired several years ago, you are just finally making it official just now. I haven't seen you actually work in a long time.
  • You may be ready to retire, but is your wife/husband ready?
  • Retirement is the last stage of your life. I hope you make it as long in retirement as you did in your career.
  • I'm glad you finally retired. Now I can have your job.
  • My therapist said that I should be open to talking about my feelings with others. Right now I feel envious.

Suggestions for Your Message

  • If you are envious of the retiree, then tell him. It is actually sincere to tell the retiree that you are envious. He or she will probably feel even more privileged.
  • Be sensitive to some of the emotions that a retiree will be feeling. Retirees can feel loss just like someone who has lost a person, relationship, or social status. Other retirees may feel extremely happy and have no feelings of loss. Those retirees are likely to be more family oriented individuals who will want to spend more time with family in retirement.
  • Make plans to see the retiree more and communicate that in your message. If your mom or dad is retiring, he or she may not know what to do with all the extra time. Make plans in your retirement message to hang out more.
  • Be funny and be personal. Retirement card messages are all about being funny. Retirement is supposed to be a happy occasion, so there are no taboo things to write. Just don't make jokes about the person dying soon. You can make fun of age, work ethic, etc.  When you make the retirement joke personal to the retiree, then it's even better.

witty retirement wishes

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Best Retirement Wishes, Messages and Quotes - Retirement Messages for Coworkers, Friends & Family

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witty retirement wishes
Written by Negal
1 Comment
  • Vurn

    VurnJanuary 16, 2019 9:37 AM

    The excellent and duly answer.

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